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I have been pursuing the dream of being a comedian for six years come July. And my pursuit has brought me places and provided me with moments that I could have never dreamed of 7 years ago. I have had the “dream” moments (performing in front of 1,400 people, sharing the stage with people who we all have seen on t.v, etc) but I also endure the moments that people who aren’t comedians don’t realize are part of the game. I have traveled 2 hours for 5 minutes of stage time and no pay. I have performed for 2 people and had to entertain them for 40 minutes because the guy paying me didn’t want to disappoint the 2 people that paid $5 for the show. I have stood in line for 2 hours to draw a raffle ticket out of a bucket along with a few hundred other comics so a comedy club could give us all one 3 minute audition, that if we pass, can get us non paid work on a show too late for any audience to attend. I have done 5 shows in one night at 5 different locations for a grand total of $30 and i have performed one show in one night for almost $1000. I have been on shows where everyone in the show has appeared on t.v but me. And i have been on shows where i was the only comic who has ever been paid to perform before. In the same. I have performed in a theater, in many comedy clubs, in festivals. but i have also performed in coffee houses, VFWS, churches, peoples homes, a library, the back room in a bar, standing in front of a pol table while people played pool. I have gotten standing ovations and applause breaks. But I have also been heckled, scolded, scoffed and even swung at once.I have missed family events to perform on a show that i thought was important to my pursuit and have angered many people in my life for choosing comedy over them. And my dream isn’t to become famous or to be on t.v. Its to perform all over this country making people laugh.Id take a weekend in Idaho followed by a weekend in Milwaukee over Hollywood anytime. All I want is that stage, that mic, that audience.

Audiences after shows will usually leave and smile at you. Some will not. Some will not even make eye contact. Some will stop to discuss, critique, commend or reflect with you about what you said on stage. Many will be quick to judge you on what you happened to utter on stage that night. And I always appreciate audience feedback. Good, bad or indifferent. I am thankful for every person who spends their hard earned money and takes time out of their busy lives to chose watching me as their escape, their entertainment, their fun night out. You go to the show to forget your problems by listening to me talk about mine. And I know that I am not everyones cup of tea. Hell, if you like tea, you probably don’t like my style of comedy. But I’m busting my hump just like every other comic, no matter what their level of performing, to make you smile, laugh ad enjoy yourselves. Most of us will never make big money doing this. We don’t do this for the money. there are some that do, but when they realize the grind that being a comic entails, they quit. I believe being a stand up comic is like someones sexual preference. Its not a choice, you are born that way. Im driven by it. Im addicted to it. im consumed by it. I dont ask much from you, the audience. I appreciate you listening to me and my twisted thoughts. Your laughs are my high. I just ask one  favor of you. When you attend a show, be it in a huge comedy club, a fundraiser at your local Elks Club or an open mic you walked in on by chance at your local bar. Think about the years of struggle, hardship, lack of money, relationships lost, rejections and thousands and thousands of miles travelled by the comic up there holding a mic, bearing his soul for your entertainment before you judge him, heckle him or bitch about his/her act to the venues owner. We are doing what you won’t FOR YOU. You shaking our hand after the show and saying thanks is our pay. See you at the next show

Comedy is a subjective thing. You may think Jeff Dunham is hilarious. Other people may hate Jeff Dunham. There is no right or wrong answer here. Its a matter of opinion. (he will have his place in puppet hell, but that’s neither here nor there) You can say Chappelle is better than Rock. I can say Rock is better than Chappelle.Once again, there is no real answer, just opinion. That’s what I love abut comedy. There are so many styles. Carrot Top may not be my cup of tea, but i understand and get why people like what he does. The only time a persons opinion effects a comedian is when they partake in the dreaded “comedy contest”.

Comedians are fragile. They need their egos stroked constantly. If we didn’t need adoration and approval, we wouldn’t be up there. When we are done, we like it when the fans come up quietly and say “you were my favorite”. We don’t want to hear that we weren’t your favorite. But, when in a contest, we are told at the end who was the “favorite” of the night. And rejection can hurt a lot of young comics.

Since leaving Foxwoods, I have had to find ways to get back in front of the comedy clubs in my surrounding area. So I decided to put myself through hell and sign up for as many contests as possible. I also did this to prepare myself for comedy festivals that i may be selected to participate in. I won the first one that I entered at the Comedy Connection in East Providence, Rhode Island. There were 3 rounds. The 1st round each comic had to do 5 minutes. If you go over your time, you lose points. This is an advantage for the young comics who have only a limited mount of material. But for comics who are used to doing longer sets, this is tough. The further you advance, the more time you get to do. By the time we got to the finals, I was in my element, doing 20 minutes. The 3 other young comics did great, but had never done 20 minutes before. The winner received a paid weekend of work at the club and $1000. But our fate wasn’t in the hands of comedy industry people. It was judged by local tv personalities and whatever local comic didn’t make the contest and was willing to judge. Does winning this contest mean I’m better than the other finalists? Hell no! It means that on that given night, The 4 people who were judging liked what I had to say a little more than the others.

The one thing you do learn from these contests though, is who a comic really is. How they react after winning or losing shows a lot about the character of that person. The night of this contest, I saw 3 young comics who were just generally excited to be on a “real” stage, in front of an audience that paid attention. They were happy and proud to be in the finals and on the show. It was really cool to see and I gained a ton of respect for the 3 of them.

I am now currently involved in 2 contests. I just advanced to the semi finals in one last week and last night i advanced to the finals in a contest that is actually run by a radio station but takes place at the Hartford FunnyBone comedy club. Most contests make you submit, pay an fee to enter, then wait to see if you were selected to be in the contest. This one was different. the radio station put a link on their site and the 1st 30 people, no matter what experience you had, to submit a youtube clip of them telling jokes, made the contest. So, you are bound to get some moron, who never performed before but loves the radio station, to enter. These guys are fun to watch at the contest because they have no clue how to behave and make an ass of themselves. The round last night had 13 comics in it, each doing 5 minutes. Nobody was really sure who the judges were and the contest got off to a weird start, with the first 2 comics not being able to see the light and having there mics shut off before they finished. The young comics became nervous and began to speed up there acts, which resulted in them doing not as well as they could have. I decided to do only 3-4 minutes. There is no penalty for doing less time and I got big laughs. After the contest was over and the 3 comics were selected to advance to the finals, there wasn’t that vibe from the young comics that I saw at the Comedy Connection. These young guys felt they were screwed. That politics were involved.( found out later that the judges were 2 waitresses and a the ticket booth guy. Don’t know what kind of politics they could be involved in) They seemed bitter and upset. And for what? At the end of the day, this contest will mean absolutely nothing to their comedy lives. They got to perform in front of a good size crowd (bigger than most of them had ever been in front of) at a legit comedy club ( which most of them haven’t been allowed to perform at except for open mic night). They probably didnt know this, but a few of the comics in the contest book and produce shows. These bookers were probably turned off by the attitudes these young comics displayed. They may have been funny enough to use on a show, but why deal with the headache of a “diva”? Some of these young guys went on social media, saying they were robbed and that they were better than everyone else, etc. Now, they get a bad rep because they couldnt handle being judged.

So, my advice to all young comics, old comics or in betweeners is this. Act humble. Act like you’ve been there before. And just be happy you get to do what we do. And keep letting me beat you in contests. they prize money pays my child support.

Sunday Oct 7th I worked with a New England and tri state legend, Dr. Dirty John Valby. If you have never seen him, imagine Dr Suess if he was a sex obsessed piano player. Valby arrives at Foxwoods in a van that resembles the one driven in Silence of the Lambs. And he needs that van to cart his 30 year old withering piano, which he brings to every gig. He dresses in an all white tuxedo with a black bowler hat. He is 74 yrs old and he sings dirty songs. Basically take every children’s song and add the words penis, twat, jizz and an occasional n word. And his cult like followers love it. Opening for him can be tough, because the crowd is just waiting for the dirty. But this night they were awesome and gave me some of the best laughs I’ve ever gotten. Valby ends his show by getting drunken women on stage, sings “if ur happy and u know it” naming different acts they should perform, ending with getting at least one skank to show her boobs. He’s been doing this for over 30 years and he has a great following but if im doing these types of gigs when I’m 70, beat me with an old piano

Saturday October 6th I performed at a sports bar in Milford CT. I got the gig from a 3rd party booker. Lots of road comics get gigs from bookers who book hundreds of rooms. What happens is, the booker helps venues find talent, then posts these shows in mass emails, offering the gigs to whoever responds first. They play favorites alot and if they dont know a comic well, tend to give him less work. I hadn’t been using these kind of bookers in a while, since I was exclusively at Foxwoods for almost a year, so I took a hosting spot to try to get in the good graces of the booker and also see what kind of shows they were putting on.

When I walked in, the guy running it asked if I wanted to buy tickets to the show. I said i was a comic on the show. He said, which one. When I told him my name, he said “oh, you are the host, not the good comics” I just shrugged, agreed and asked what I needed to do, how much time, etc. He said “i may fall down at some point, I just got vertigo” to which I responded ” on purpose. He just shook his head, which Im not sure if that was a response or part of the vertigo.

There were to 2 headliners. Bookers will do this sometimes to make to comics take lesser pay by stroking there ego and giving them the headliner title. the crowd is also dupped into believing that they are seeing to acts that normally headline shows. It also makes me as the host look even more like a chump, since they are HEADLINERS and I am the lonely emcee. It also causes confusion, since the 2 comics now play “whos dick is bigger” and argue over who closes the show.

The guy running it wanted to start the show a half hour earlier than advertised, which made no sense because the crowd, or lack there of” wasnt even there yet. But he needed the show to end at a certain time since the bar we were in was having a metal band at 930 and they would of drowned us out. I guess the cheesy red curtain dividing the room wasnt going to muffle the sound. We finally start the show, and i go up into 15 to 20 people, spread out all over the room. They didnt bother to sit them up front, and half the “audience” were seated with there backs to the “stage”. I began to tell a joke, but they werent having it. So, when a new crowd member walked in (he had to walk in front of me to get to his seat) I made fun of him for looking like Frodo and offered him a booster chair. The crowd responded well, so i ditched material and just busted on the crowd. The 1st “headliner” went up, and did what he had to do to survive the talkative crowd. As he was perfoming, the promoter says “we have a camera crew form the local news to cover this”. Apparently, this was a fundraiser show for St Judes. So this guy sets up this huge camera and stands right in the middle of the room, geting in the waitstaffs way and blocking 3 of the the audience members view of the show. When I went back up to introduce the next headliner, I said “some of you may notice the camara. They are filming a documentary called SOME PEOPLE SHOULDNT CHASE THERE DREAMS” Then I brought up the prop act headliner. He shot ping pong balls at the crowd, wore silly hats and worked his ass off to get 14 people to like him. Then vertigo man did a raffle after and shook uncontollably as the prop guy packed his million props into a trunk behind him. Gigs like this, you take the megar pay and just be thankful you have a show tomorrow

Friday October 5th I performed in Springfield MA at a place called Mattie”s Cafe. To people not involved in comedy, comedians don”t always get to work in clubs. We do a lot of local shows at restaurants, VFW’s, bars etc. These shows are put together by either other local comics, local promoters or the venue itself. You never know what you are walking into. Could be set up professionally. Or you could be stuck in the corner of a bar under a tv with the local sports team playing over your head while people play pool in front of you as u try to shout jokes over drunks gagging on whiskey. There may be a great crowd looking for a fun night of laughs or it may be 7 people pissed that they were stupid enough to come to a bar to see comedy and now they will be miserable the whole night. Either way, you have to tell yourself that every mic you do makes you stronger, to be professional and to just do the job you are being paid to do..no matter what.

When I pulled up to Mattie’s, i feared the worst. It was in a not so awesome section of Springfield MA and it was in a neighborhood and setting that Ice Cube would choose to film a rap video in front of. When I walked in, I saw a giant bar that looked like one that Archie Bunker would have gone to. But, when I looked to the lft, I was shocked. The promoter had sectioned off the “dining room” section and made a make shift comedy club out of it. There was a stage, proper lighting, decent sound system and all the tables were moved to face the stage. I was approached by the promoter right away, asked if I needed anything, discussed how the show was going to run, then ran around like a chicken with his head cut off selling tickets at the door, greeting people and just generally hustling about.

The room filled quickly and the crowd seemed really excited. And the host and 2 young comics who opened did a great job. The 3 comics were black, the audience was all black except for maybe 4 or 5 people and the humor was skewed to an African American audience. The comics did great, the audience ate it up…and now its my turn to close the show. I walked up, bald headed white man who stood out like a sore thumb. But this audience was amazing. I joked about the situation and they laughed and laughed. At the end I said we learned a lot about each other. They learned they shouldn’t judge a book by its cover and I learned that, by observing them at the bar, that they do indeed tip. It was all in all a great night. And now I believe I have street cred!!

5 years ago, i was at a bar with an old college friend in Naugatuck CT. There was a comedy contest at the bar that we were unaware of. The contestants were a guy who just lost his job as a painter and really needed the $100 prize, a part time magician who looked like every extra in Braveheart and the bars cook, who had to shut the kitchen down for 5 minutes as he told a story about how much weed he had smoked earlier that day. My friend nudged me to enter. I had always thought of doing stand up, but being from CT had no clue where to start and didnt even know that open mics and local comedy existed. I didnt know what to say or what to do. My buddy looked at me and said, “Pat, you have been making people laugh your whole life, just by being able to point out their shortcomings. You always pull something out of your ass. (which was the magic guys closing joke) Just go up there and wing it.

Now, I don’t know why, but when I walked on to the make shift stage, i didn’t feel nervous. I wasn’t afraid to be in front of people. I actually, for the first time in my life, felt comfortable. And I just started talking to the 30 or so folks in the crowd watching about the ridiculous line up of entertainment they had just sat through. When I was done, 30 people were cheering and the magician slammed his cards on the ground in disgust. The cook put another basket of fries in the fryer. The unemployed guy asked if he could borrow the $100 I had just won.

I know I was horrible, but I felt amazing. I knew I needed to do this again and again and again. I searched Myspace for local comics. I asked them about open mics. I started driving all over New England to do spots for no money just to hit another mic. In my first 2 years I did over 500 mics. And I loved every minute of it. I started producing my own shows at little restaurants and bars. I went to an open mic at Jokers Wild comedy club in New Haven CT and when I was finished my set, the owner asked if i wouldnt mind working fr him during the day, calling people and offering them free tickets to shows. In return I would get very little pay, but more importantly, I would get to host the open mic, do spots on the weekend shows and produce my own Thursday night shows there. Now I was hitting a stage every night and my confidence soared. New owner came along, and they made many changes, but they said I was one thing that had to stay. And I was there for almost 2 years. Then a great opportunity came to leave Jokers and be the house comics/manager at Comix comedy club at Foxwoods casino. I was now featuring for some of the best comics in the country, producing my own shows and telling jokes in front of crowds between 100-300 every time I hit a stage. My confidence was at an all time high. But something was missing. Butterfies.

I missed driving to gigs every night. Entering different towns, states. I missed the pressure that a comic who wants to succeed needs to feel. I missed the butterflies in my stomach that I would get before a show. Not from being nervous, but from that want and need to prove to new people, new bookers, new comics that I belonged. Being a house comic was great and I would never trade the experience for anything, but I became to comfortable on that stage. I needed to really test myself and see who I was as a comic, and more importantly, who I could become as a comic.

Since I left Comix in July, I have started from square one. I have entered comedy club contests ( I won the Comedy Connection in Rhode Island contest last month) and I have traveled to hole in the wall open mics so I can be around hungry comics. And I really now feel like a comic. When a new club calls my name to bring me on stage, I get a great feeling in the pit of my stomach again. I missed you butterflies.

I dont know where comedy will take me next, but I am very excited about it. And im going to write about all the great things that happen, all the shitheads I deal with along the way and all the people I meet that make this awesome comedy thing happen behind the scenes.